おれの日記

korekarasu @ 2005-12-16T22:50:00

2005-12-17T03:50:55Z

I'm suddenly a trendsetter. And I hate it.

korekarasu @ 2005-12-16T14:25:00

2005-12-16T19:37:42Z

Today was utterly boring, mostly because me mum refused to drive me into school. That's right, she refused. I was up, awake, showered, dressed, &c. She says "Foster-Glocester doesn't have school, so I'm not driving you in."

Me: "..."
Mum: "I'm going back to bad."
Me: "*sob*"

So yeah. Boring day. I scanned in/touched up the bishounen experiment I drew months ago, then submitted that. I also put a page of doodles in my scraps. I've got a bunch of other drawings that all SUCKED, so I didn't post them at all. Grargh. I also read another twenty pages in Of Mice and Men and underlined as I went. And I ate food. And that's about it. So I'm bored out of my skull, angry that I missed school AND THE MATH COMP, and all that fun stuff.

BUT. Tomorrow is Saturday. And the day after, I go back to work. I ought to find my uniform...or something. I dunno. Lack of human contact has made me an introvert for a few hours. It's annoying, because I really wanted to go to school. I wonder what's been going on without me. *sigh*

Anyhoo, off to do stuff.

korekarasu @ 2005-12-15T17:38:00

2005-12-15T22:50:39Z

I LOVE SEAL. Such a spiffy man. And Kiss From A Rose is such a good song, too. :3

Anyway, today. Fun day. Didn't get to tell Sam [damn you, divana. you didn't know though, so it's okay.] because we didn't really have lunch. Lemme explain.

Okay. It's C Period, sometime around ten-fifteen. Josh rushes into the room and screams "Everyone out! I'm serious!" The hallway stinks of smoke, and the fire alarm is going off. Fuck. After a few minutes outside, across the street, in the ice and snow and fnerking COLD, I gather that a radiator in the Development Office burst into flame. Smoke rises from [the mountain of fire in the east. the hour grows late, and gandalf the grey rides to isengard, seeking my council. for is that not why you have come, my old friend?] the building, and after a while the fire department [which is a block and a half away.] shows up. After another half hour or so, we're allowed down into the basement. It takes us fifteen minutes to all shuffle into the basement and shut up long enough to hear the we're watching a movie. It's something made by students. I didn't get to see it, I was next to the TV with Sam.

Anyway, we get out of the movie sometime around 1140amEST. First they tell us we can leave the building for lunch, but we can't go onto the first or second floors. Then they pull us back, tell us we can go on the first floor to get our things, but no second floor. We're out the door, about to turn the corner a block away to head out to lunch, when they call us BACK into the basement. We're dismissed. Go home. So I go to Minerva's with Lily, Alina, and Sam. Alina and Lily have to go back to school, since they're being picked up. So it's just Sam and I.

Leading up to it [as bloody fast as i fnerking can.] when Rachel calls. Divana's on her way. GRAAAAAAAARGH. Speeding up the leading-up-to-it, and as I'm ABOUT TO BROACH THE SUBJECT OF WHY I DON'T WANT SAM TO DATE JEAN -- *poof* "Yo!" There's Diva. *killkillkill*

It's not her fault. It's just ANNOYING AS FUCK. So we have some large fries, and I'm about to pay the check [i was the only one with money.] when me mum appears. She wants lunch. We threaten Sam and Divana into ordering as well, and we all eat. Yay.

Sam has to sit next to me mum. Poor Sam. *huggles sam*

But I WAS SO FNERKING CLOSE. I swear, I will do this next week. No matter what. If I have to say it in front of other people, so be it. But I will do it. I won't let this go by. NO. NEVER. Grargh. *beats divana and mother* It's not their fault, really. I just...I dunno. I really wanted to tell him. He wandered over, when we were all over on the sidewalk, and stood next to me. And then we sort of semi-huddled :3 and then we went in and sat next to each other. Then we listened to music heading towards Minerva's. It was nice. And we were close. And it was just me and him.

Grargh.

Anyway, I went shopping and got something for me da' and me grandmum. Which leaves Elyssa and Mum to buy for, and about a bajillion CDs to burn ><;; but I have all weekend now. Because it looks like I'm not going into school tomorrow. Yay? *dies*

korekarasu @ 2005-12-14T22:28:00

2005-12-15T03:31:18Z

I am totally feeling better. :3 Like, I felt terrible, because my opening with Sam was nothing more than a bad rumour gone wrong [i hate certain people, but i'm going to pull it again tomorrow and go through with it anyway. i've decided. i just needed time to think.] so I was feeling quite bad for a bit. However, I did get a rather strong suspicion that I'm getting an iPod for Christmas. And I'm listening to the Wizard of Oz, which always makes me feel better X3 it's a last-ditch effort to make me happy. Step into the sun step into the light march up to that gate and bid it -- open!

So I'm better now. :3

DEAR SANTA MY ASS.

2005-12-07T17:23:35Z

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last Friday I pushed aujsayshi in the mud (-17 points). In January I helped theinkpot across the street (6 points). In October I bought porn for never_walk (-10 points). In April babyinthecorner and I donated clothes to the needy (11 points). Last Sunday I pulled over and changed influxus's flat tire (15 points).

Overall, I've been nice (5 points). For Christmas I deserve a pony!

Sincerely,
korekarasu

We thank you very sweetly!

2005-12-04T16:02:27Z

I've been gone with appendicitis. No posts, no anything. Nowhere. Haven't been online in a week because of it. For the full details, go to http://kore-karasu.deviantart.com and read the journal. Thank you, and good morning/morrow/afternoon/evening/night.

Toady is a good day.

2005-11-21T22:26:00Z

TODAY HAS BEEN AN ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL DAY. ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL. :D :D :D

I hope everyone feels the same.

I got up on time, dressed, readied, &c., and arrived at school 'round eight-thirty. Sat around 'til nine or so, when Laurie deigned to notice me and let me register for classes, and look at last trimester's evaluations and whatnot. GREAT EVALUATIONS -- WONDERFUL COMMENTS. Even from Erin. :XD: Then, I GOT ALL THE CLASSES I WANTED. One of these was Physics, which I had to switch into with the specific permission of Steve, the math teacher [and pope.], whom Laurie [my advisor.] told me had said no one could get. SO I'M SPECIAL. :D

Then I sat around and talked to Lana for a while before I went to Pawtucket for my driving test, to get my provisional license. This would allow me to drive on my own, except during the hours of 1 and 5 am, at which time I could only be on the road if going to/from work. :XD: That doesn't matter. :XD: What matters is that I PASSED MY TEST WITH A 100 -- TWO POINTS HIGHER THAN MY MOTHER. That matters, because she's always snubbed me over it. :D But now I've got her back by two points! We're going out to eat tomorrow night to celebrate. :D

After getting my license picture [which actually looks NOT TERRIBLE.] we went to RIC, where me mum goes to college. From there, I drove to the Johnston BOA [some of you may know how hard it is to get there in the middle of rush hour -- the rest...well, it's difficult. you have to cross FOUR LANES OF TRAFFIC.] to finish setting up my checking and savings accounts, which are now linked for Overdraft Protection or whatever. :D

From there, I drove to SMITHFIELD and bought/ate lunch BY MYSELF. Then I drove back to RIC to wait for me mum. Now, this eating/driving/&c. may not seem like much -- but to me, it is. It's one of those steps in which I further myeslf as a young adult. It's important. We like it. :D

Anyhoo, I drive home, and arrive to find -- A PACKAGE. FROM KANSAS. AISHITEIRU, FUTAGO! :glomp: It has this KICKASS coat I'm still wearing, and all of the original Naruto episodes! Plus some music videos. And this awesome book! It's so great! I love it to death! :glomp: As soon as I get my DVD Player, these are all going in! Plus Wolf's Rain, and whatever else I decide to watch. :D But Naruto first! :D Thank you!

So, all in all, a great day. :D Nothing BAD about it -- just a lot of good! Even waiting at the DMV wasn't too bad, since there was this really nice guy in front of us who we started a conversation with. :D There was just a lot of coolness going around. And I may borrow some cash from my 'rents to go see Harry Potter tomorrow whilst me mum works. :D I've heard EVERYONE is sexy -- even Viktor Krum. :XD:

CEDRIC DIGGORY x DRACO MALFOY = <333
OLIVER WOOD x HARRY POTTER = <333
and so on x and so forth... = <333

:XD:

I love myself sometimes. :D

This was SO Emma's.

2005-11-21T03:54:49Z

Do this, there is something I love about each and every one of you on my friends list, other wise you wouldn't be there!

Reply to this post, and I'll tell you one reason why I like/love/adore you. Then put this in your own journal, and spread the love.

Procrastinating...

2005-11-13T21:00:18Z

It's such fun! I've got two essays and a bunch of terms to define for tomorrow morning, and I haven't started it! I've got an hour before I have to shower and go to work, and I'm still not working on it! w00t!

Watch me pass this trimester with ease and skill, as soon as I come home -- some time around 1o3opmEST X3

I LOVE THIS CD.

2005-11-12T04:27:58Z

Okay, so today was awesome. Just...totally awesome. Beyond awesome. Uber-amazing. Wicked spiffy. Today was, in all honesty, the first wicked spiffy day in, like, forever.

Summary

1oooamEST
I wake up 'round here, pull on some loose-fitting pants, a tight shirt reading 'Everyone is entitled to my opinion,' and arise from my tomb of a room. Wander for a bit, ruminate on whether Veteran's Day is a national holiday or not, and whether the mail will come today.

12oopmEST
Get a call from dearest Amber, whom I have not spoken to since Oct 29th or thereabouts, and whom I have not seen since Red Eye came out back in August or whenever. Discuss earrings and Jeff Farnum and Eric Vogel [that's the name of the guy who used to sing what's your fantasy? to me...'i wanna, li-li-li-lick you from your head to your toes...' that song.] and all that fun stuff.

13opmEST
I get off the phone with Amber, and call mr raskolnikov, who is in the shower. Wander for a bit, get called back, decide that I'm hanging with said raskolnikov and the mother thereof at Barnes and Noble, where Dawn [the mother.] works from 6oopmEST 'til 1ooopmEST, whilst the mother works. Do so.

6oopmEST
Wander Barnes and Noble with eighty dollars. This would be a bad idea if I did not have one check already and another coming tomorrow. However, it is a VERY good idea with two checks. I purchase six books: Andrew Wyeth, Memory and Magic; The Inferno, by Dante Alighieri; The Once and Future King, by T.H. White; Dissolution, War of the Spider Queen Book I, by R.A. Salvatore; Insurrection, War of the Spider Queen Book II, by R.A. Salvatore; and The Crimson Petal and the White, by Michel Faber.

1ooopmEST
Return home.

Book Descriptions

The Three have been good to me in this endeavour -- I wanted all of these very, very much. Andrew Wyeth, for those who don't know, is an American artist who is very well-known, and really amazing. He's realism, I s'pose, and very good at it -- a lot of his pics look like they could be photographs. The tsarevich enjoys him quite a bit, so it's a nice book to have for the winter. The War of the Spider Queen has gone up to book VI; I'm just getting started on them. I feel a tad sad that it took that long, but so be it. The Crimson Petal and the White is about this prostitute in Victorian England who works her way up through society. The Once and Future King is about King Arthur, and 'the fantasy masterpiece by which all others are judged.' The Inferno is, of course, Dante's Inferno -- the first of the trilogy.

Epilogue

So that's my whole day. Fun, ne? Work, Japanese class, and checks tomorrow -- possibly more shopping -- I want a daily planner thing like Jean has. :XD: And finals. That's about it for tomorrow. Oh, and the tsarevich's letter, and netflix. That's about it. More tomorrow, perhaps.

I find her rather insane.

2005-10-28T03:17:10Z

She insists she's sane. The woman LIES, I TELL YOU!!!

Anyhoo. Today was a good day. Good indeed. :3

Well, for no really apparent reason. Like...hm. It's one of those days when there's just this undercurrent of goodness and happiness and stuff, and there's no real reason or anything for it, it's just...a good day. Like...killing Max, figuring out math problems, eating quickly and hanging out with TJ without a too-strong need to kill him, hanging out with Sam for a period, performing our play...it was just a good day. 'Specially 'cause I got to be all vampiric after school, and play with the girls. ^^

NOT LIKE THAT. More like...well, I dunno. It was just fun. And on the way home, Diva and Dawn and I got the Apple Song stuck in our heads and had fun and stuff. I just really enjoyed my day, for some reason. Then I took a nap. :333 It was about two-and-a-half hours, and it was just really nice. Plus everyone is noticing I'm growing, and I'm doing well in school, and I'm just...in a good mood. I really am. It's nice. I'm happy. And nice. And happy.

I discussed fleeing my house for Christmas Eve, and popping in QV's window. I discussed it with myself, as is my wont. I haven't used the word wont in, like, so long. I missed it. That's sad, but true. Anyways, I discussed this with myself, and decided that, if it were possible to walk that far in December without ruining my clothing, and QV wished it so, I would do it. Just because I HATE my house 'round Christmastime, and I could use the companionship. And it's QV, so it's awesome.

I also discussed [also with myself. since it is my wont.] the possibility of just...telling CAM what I need to tell him. Without any real build up or anything. Just...saying it. And then just smiling and wandering off to giggle hysterically in a corner or something X3

Anyways, I think I just might do that. Not sure. Maybe tomorow? I doubt it. But I dunno. We'll see. X3

I'm so happy! I feel happy! I feel pretty! Only not. I don't feel pretty. But I don't care, really. I'm just...happy. Delirious. Overjoyed. Highonlife. :D

Argh, me mateys. or..something.

2005-10-21T00:47:36Z

Did I tell everyone about the new shirt I got, and my pierced ear, and all that fun stuff? I s'pose not. Well, go to my dA if you want the particulars...you may have to dig through a few journals to find the list; I got it all Tuesday. Actually, now that I think about it, it's still the journal on my front page [which is http://kore-karasu.deviantart.com if you're interested -- which you are. trust me. if you want to keep all your limbs attached to your torso, you ARE interested.] since I haven't updated in a while. So...go read that for all the shtuff I bought.

I'm re-taroting the thingie I had to tarot, for people who get that. Which is Jayna, who...doesn't read this. Oh well; no reason to delete it. Is oh well a sentence? Gah.

I had midterms, got all Hs, which is Heading for credits...all good reports. I'm doing good in school! w00t! Debates and homework and whatnot. I also wrote something. :3 That's hard to do, with my writer's block. But I wrote something. So much fun. I just need to type it up and post it for Pronk [it's her kiriban.] and everyone else on dA. Ooh, Seymour's ambition.

I need to go shower and then pretend life doesn't suck quite as much as it does. No details where it can be copied/pasted/etc. or anything like that. Ask me in person. And if you don't see me in person...um...well, whatever.

An Onrush. Or something.

2005-10-17T22:48:03Z

SSDD for today, really. Not a lot is going on, all of a sudden. I've finally gotten almost all of my problems under control, so now I'm just sort of sitting here, struggling with one last little problem, trying to see the next huge pile of horse shit I'm going to step in and have to get out of. I mean, life's always problematic and stressful and evil, right?

Well, where's my next stress-inducing, uber-evil problem? Well? CAM can't be that last one. I mean, I can handle CAM easily enough -- I have been, and will continue doing so, in fact. So...now what do I do? What do I do when I'm NOT dealing with CAM? What do I do??? Do I just...do my work, and go to work, and get paid, and have funnishness?

...Never. That just can't be. Life can't be easy and fun.

Maybe I need more drama in my life or something. Maybe I'll start going to YPI -- I heard from me mum, who heard from this lesbian who is me mum's fellow RIC Psych Master's Program student who happens to work at YPI, that JR doesn't go there anymore. So I don't think I'll have to deal with that shit. I think that all of that is actually, like, all done now. I mean, it's amazing. I've dealt with that for almost three years, and it's just...over. *shrug* So I think I may go just to see what it's like. Does anyone know where 95 Cedar in Providence is?

Anyways, beyond that...not a lot up. Still listening to the FFX soundtrack, almost done with disc 3. Then I can import another CD, and listen to that. And type up some of my story. And wait for some drama or something.

Really, it's a tad disturbing when your life all of a sudden just...goes quiet. I'll have to find something to stress out over. Or something. Or make a big deal out of CAM, which I could -- I just don't feel like it. *shrug*

Thank you very much, a Mr Raskolnikov

2005-10-15T20:00:29Z

These past two days have been good. Actually, my week for a while has been really good. Like, weirdly good. At least when I'm not at school.

Well, school's going fine academically anyway. Because I'm always "fine" academically. Actually, to be brutally honest, I'm doing great academically. Except maybe in Afghanistan Literature -- I hate that class. I'm switching out of it as soon as possible, which probably means a HUGE schedule reworking -- which is good. I don't really like what classes I have anymore. Well, no, that's not true; I love all my classes except Afghan Lit. I just...don't always like the people in them. Max, Siobhan, etc. etc.

But we'll see.

After school yesterday, I took the math comps and I have a good feeling about them. We'll see how it goes. :3 Then Diva and Dawn and I -- Hum of the Fayth, w00t! -- had a picnic in the car, complete with dessert and The Monkey God. Afterwards we went to Michael's, got me blending tortillions, Divana some new coloured pencils, and Dawn some more beads [she's really into beadwork. she's good, too.] for her Christmas Tree Ball Thing. I forget what they're called -- the round ball ornament things. A heh. ^^;

After that, it was off to their house to hang out and eat dinner. I took a bunch of CDs of Diva's to copy, including the soundtracks to FFX, Cowboy Bebop, and FF IV. I also got a bunch of classical stuff, and a bunch of swing and metal and Sinatra and Gregorian Chants X3

Loads of fun, ne? Anyhoo, after that we went to the Gamm Theatre to watch Casey Seymour-Kim [who is my drama teacher -- she got us the tickets for free!] play five or six roles in Crime and Punishment, which was amazingly good. You should all go see it -- the last showing is tomorrow at two. So GO. And HURRY. RAWR.

Upon driving on Route 6 and hitting puddles big enough to swallow me whole, we decided I should stay the night at Divana's instead of risking the rural roads of Rhode Island's own Foster-Glocester. So I slept at their house, which was AWESOME. I woke up to MORE tea [i'll talk about the tea in a second. it's so awesome.] and two hours of "just chillin'," a.k.a. laying on the couch and talking/reading/listening to Katamaridamashii's soundtrack and drinking tea. Then I came home, canceled work so I could help drain the basement, and started importing music.

On to the tea. IT IS SO COOL. Dawn makes this really cool mixture of a bunch of different teas, and she puts it in this thermos she got from Gevalia coffee for free. This thermos kept the tea hot from four in the afternoon 'til eleven at night. THAT IS SEVEN HOURS OF HOTNESS. Isn't that AWESOME?! And it was great tea, too; soooo delicious. They had those awesome little cups without handles that you hold in the palm of your hand [i do, at least. but my palm is pretty big. so maybe you guys don't. i don't know.] and drink and it's so awesome and I loved it. I want to go back again, most definitely.

PLUS I got to wear Divana's CCCP sweater, which me grandmum FREAKED at when she saw. Well, it's not my fault that I sort of semi support them, and have a friend who does. *shrug*

So now I'm online, and no one's talking to me. SO I'M UPDATING!!! And listening to song number 24 of 91 off of the FF X soundtrack, which I've imported. The Gregorian chants are in my stereo, and the rest are in the bag. See you later!

La de, da de, da de da de da, de...

2005-10-14T03:42:47Z

Entr'Acte, for those of you who couldn't tell X3

So the PSATs were yesterday, and ridiculously easy. Gah, one sec; Pippin's sniffing trash. Okay, back. The PSATs = SOOOO EASY. Like, ridiculously. I said that. Anyways, boring, waste of three hours.

Finished Interview with the Vampire, and about to finish Kite Runner. Then I only have Crime and Punsihment, Eldest, The Vampire Lestat, and Queen of the Damned to finish reading before I can start on Nicholas and Alexandra.

I like books, okay? X3

Anyways, also going to buy tarot cards. Why? Because I feel like it; tarot cards are one of those things I've always wanted to do but been afraid of the ridicule due to its clicheness. So I'm going to say fuck it, who gives a shit what someone who thinks I'M into it for the clicheness says anyway? They obviously don't know me.

One of the things I've recently been realising is that a lot of people avoid things BECAUSE they're popular, or cliche, or "in." I think that doing so is almost as bad as avoiding things because they AREN'T all of that. Like, I buy some things that are "in" or hip or whatever, and some stuff that isn't. Why? Because I'm interested in the stuff. Some people tell me I'm trying to become Aya because I like HIM and Dir en Grey and I wear dark clothing and I grew my hair out. Okay, so Aya did a lot of that, too; that doesn't mean I'm becoming Aya. I liked HIM before I knew Aya even knew who they WERE [I found that out last year, and I've been into HIM for ages. Thank you, Never!] and I listen to Dir en Grey because I like them -- not because they're what Aya likes. I wear dark clothes because I like how they fit and what they say, not because Aya did it or because I'm goth or some shit like that. And I LOVE Tonari no Totoro because it's a sweet little story about a forest spirit and some kids, not because Aya had a Totoro backpack. The same goes for LotR and PotO and all that stuff -- I read/watch/listen/obsessed not because I thought it was cool, or what my friends did, but because I enjoyed it to that extent. As soon as I lost interest in it, I stopped obsessing. Yes, I still listen to my Opera -- I still enjoy it. Simple as that.

I also buy things like Birkenstock sandals. Why? Because they're kickass sandals; not because they're in. I like to read manga, but not because it's what "cool kids" do or anything like that; it's just interesting stuff to read. I like Japan for the same reason; it's interesting. I read Shakespeare not because he's The Guy for Plays, but because I enjoy his work. I listen to indie bands NOT BECAUSE THEY'RE INDIE BUT BECAUSE I LIKE THEIR MUSIC.

zOMG LIEK DID HE JUST GO THERE?!!!!!1!!!!eleven

I'm so sick and fucking tired of people going "That's so stupid, it's so stereotypical and preppy." SO WHAT?! If it's cool, use it. It's cool NOT BECAUSE THE COOL KIDS USE IT. It is cool BECAUSE YOU FIND IT AESTHETICALLY PLEASING OR AMUSING. Jesus Christ. People can be SO hypocritical, and I'm sick of it.

Okay, my rant is over...I think. For now. ;3

I actually had a good day, too. X3

seventeen

2005-10-12T01:58:35Z

omfgthepsatsaretomorrow.iamsodoomed.

i suddenly got really nervous. what i need is a good fluffy shounen-ai. anyone got one? all of the ones i've got here are...lemon-y, at best. and i don't want to write one; that's different. anyone got a fluff? anyone at all? please?

i need fluff. and that's all i'm saying on the subject.

seventeen.

</3

iwantlove ; ;

2005-10-10T03:28:37Z

sabitsuiteiru kono tokai boku no youda
hito no ai wa nanige naku owari wo mukaheru

osanaii koro wo omou yasashisa ni ueteta
amari ni mo tooisugita anata no koe

boku no kokoro ano koro to nani mo kawarazu
kimi ni okuru shitto dake gatsu noru bakari

kizutsuku no ga osokute nani mo dekinaku naru
itsu ka yume ga kanau to boku wa negau

kisetsu ga yuki o furashite sonna yoru
kimi ga boku ni okutta ai no hanataba zokei no doku no hanataba

osanaii koro wo omou yasashisa ni ueteta
itsu ka yume ga kanau to boku wa negau

kisetsu ga yuki o furashite sonna yoru
kimi ha boku ni okutta ai no hanataba zokei no doku o hanataba

boku no...

korekarasu @ 2005-10-09T00:06:00

2005-10-09T04:32:03Z

1) Using names of bands, spell out your name
T - The Black Mages X3
A - Apocalyptica
Y - Yann Tiersen
L - Love Spit Love
O - O-Zone [the numa numa song X3 properly known as Dragostea Din Tei]
R - Richard Marx

2) Have you ever had a song written about you? Not that I know of, no.
3) What song makes you cry? I haven't cried in years.
4) What song makes you happy? A lot. Including [but not limited to] Beauty and the Beast, anything by Dir En Grey, Yann Tiersen, HIM, or any other band that I love to death X3

a b o u t . y o u
[ full name ] Taylor Scott McNeilly
[ birthdate ] April 28, 1989
[ location ] My room?
[ sexual preference ] Homosexual
[ height ] ~6'3-4
[ weight] ~140 lbs
[ hair color ] Naturally? Brownish. Right now? Technicolour X3
[ hair type ] Straight, long [for a guy]
[ skin color ] Um...human? White? Tannish? I dunno.
[ eye color ] Blue-to-grey-to-green-and-back-again
[ piercings ] None...hopefully my ear, one of these days.
[ tattoos ] Nope.

m u s i c
[ do you play any instruments? ] Piano. YAY!
[ if so, what one(s)? ] Um...piano.
[ favorite genres of music ] Clasic rock, rock, alt. rock, metal [of any kind], j-rock, j-pop, soundtracks, foreign stuff, um...anything-that-isn't-rap...
[ favorite bands ] Pink Floyd, The Beatles, HIM, Stratovarius, Andrew Lloyd Webber, etc. etc. etc.
[ do you go to concerts and/or shows? ] I have never been to a concert. TT~TT
[ what is the most you've ever spent on a concert/show? ] NONE!!! NOW STOP RUBBING IT IN!!! *runs off sobbing*
[ what is the least you've ever spent? ] SHUT UP!!! *cries hysterically*
[ do you think buying merch at a concert then wearing it there is corny? ] I DON'T KNOW, I'VE NEVER BEEN TO ONE. NOW STOP TALKING ABOUT THEM AND MY DEPRIVED ADOLESCENCE!!!
[ do you listen to any bands that you'd be ashamed to admit to listening to? ] Um...no. I'm not one of those folks who is into stuff and whatnot. So...yeah.

r i g h t . n o w
[ pants you're wearing? ] None X3;;
[ shirt you're wearing? ] My "creamcicle" shirt -- long-sleeved dress shirt, white and cream-orange checkers. Yum :3
[ underwear? ] ...none X3;;
[ music listening to? ] The rain hitting my open window
[ taste in your mouth? ] That I-haven't-brushed-my-teeth-tonight taste.
[ how are you? ] Don't go there, girlfriend.
[ tired? ] Tired, yes. Awake, yes.
[ happy? ] See "[ how are you? ]"
[ depressed? ] ...See above.

l o v e
[ boyfriend? ] Iwishnowshutup.
[ girlfriend? ] Siobhan? Maybe? X333
[ sexuality? ] HOMOSEXUAL. I SAID THAT.
[ are you a virgin ] ...Let's keep this classified ;3
[ children? ] HAHAHAHAHAHAHA-- no. I hate children, the damn bastard parasites.
[ current crush? ] None. I am proud to say that I am over everyone. Except maybe Alex, but he doesn't really count X3
[ been in love? ] SHUTUPALREADY.
[ do you believe theres a difference between "love" and "in love"? ] Yes.
[ is it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all? ] Naturally. The ability to nostalgically recall such happiness can bring one out of a loneliness-induced depression.
[ are you romantic? ] DURH.
[ had a hard time getting over someone? ] SHUTUPALREADY.
[ been hurt? ] CANWEPLEASESHUTUPNOW?
[ your greatest regret? ] I don't have the time to try to remember.
[ turn offs ] Boring people, disturbingly ugly people, annoying people, female genitalia...
[ favorite place to be touched?] Hair, face, neck, chest, hands, arms, waist. Not necessarily in that order.
[ what song describes you now? ] Um...I haven't a clue. But Killing Loneliness is playing in my head.

r a n d o m
[ do you have a job ] McDonald's. Front.
[ your cd player has in it right now ] Um...my Opera, and...Matrix? Maybe?
[ if you were a crayon what color would you be ] Probably the rainbow one X3
[ do you use internet shorthand (i.e. 'lol', 'brb', 'jk')? ] "Jocks think about sports, nerds think about sex -- date a nerd" I am proud to say I think about sex enough to shorthand my typing, so as to use more time for the sex thoughts ;3

Thirteen random things you like:
01- Semi-long, dark hair on a guy
02- Small, furry animals
03- Religion
04- Lying comfortably under a warm blanket, with or without someone you love, on a cold winter's morning
05- Music
06- Writing
07- The Japanese Language
08- Friends
09- Romantic, sexual relationships
10- Writing
11- Having money
12- Being in love
13- Dancing in the wind as red and yellow leaves fly about

Twelve movies:
1- Spirited Away
2- Suicide Club
3- Tonari no Totoro
4- The Librarian [I think]
5- Pirates of the Carribean
6- Moulin Rouge
7- Amelie
8- The Wizard of Oz
9- Constantine
10- The Phantom of the Opera -- Joel Schumacher version
11- Star Wars III -- just for Hayden Christensen :3
12- Finding Neverland

Eleven good bands/artists:
01- Pink Floyd
02- The Who
03- The Beatles
04- Gorillaz
05- Coldplay
06- Joe Hisaishi
07- Dir en Grey
08- Flogging Molly
09- HIM
10- Elton John
11- Howard Shore

Ten things about you physically:
1- I have beautiful hands.
2- My eyes are pretty!
3- My legs aren't too bad...
4- My hair is nice and soft and long and pretty!!!
5- I'm really tall.
6- I have no torso.
7- My inseam should be at least a 36 X3
8- My waist is 30 in
9- I wear glasses.
10- I have hairy toes

Nine good friends no particular order :
01- Pronk
02- Jenn
03- Dehleelee
03- Never
04- Jean
05- Sam? Does he count?
06- Meredith
07- cheeto
08- Auj
09- Watashi no Futago!!

Eight favorite foods/drinks:
01- Sushi
02- Dr Pepper
03- Fajitas
04- Bananas
05- Roast Beef
06- Cheese
07- Peanut Butter
08- Cheese

Seven things you wear daily:
01- Jeans
02- A shirt
03- My glasses
04- This keychainringthing
05- Two necklaces
06- My NYC Hard Rock Cafe pin
07- Sandals or Boots [thank the Three they didn't ask for eight, I sort of ran out of things...]

Six things that annoy you:
01- Max
02- TJ
03- People being loud or quiet when I'm in the mood for the other one
04- Pain
05- Racists
06- Homophobes

Five things you touch everyday:
01- My face
02- My glasses
03- My bed
04- My...um...toilet?
05- My...backpack?

Four channels you watch:
Sci-Fi, Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, and SpikeTV [for ST:TNG!!]

Three People you have a crush on:
Um....Alex? I guess. And...well, I'm more or less over Sam, but we'll count him. And...that's about it. I s'pose I can say Adam [the hot one, not the stoned one.] but that's not really a crush. Oh well. *shrug*

Two things you hate:
01- Republicans
02- Rejection

One thing you love:
01) Life? Death? The Scientific Method? Only not really X3

gibbergibber

2005-10-08T21:00:17Z

Which Historical Lunatic Are You?
From the fecund loins of Rum and Monkey.

You have a duty!

2005-10-06T03:49:20Z

I am very tired right now, but going to talk with you about my life anyway. Why? Because I'm silly like that, and my Opera isn't done yet. So. What's new in my life, eh?

Work isn't new, but it's often and rather annoying at times. Some of the time I love working at McDonald's, just because I get to hang out half the time. The rest of the time I hate it, just because some of my co-workers are real bitches to me. Grrr. I'm working all weekend, closing. Yuck. But whatever, it's cool. MONEY.

School is going okay. I'm handling all my homework and classes and shit, so that's good, ne? Socially I s'pose it's fine. Lots of screaming memes [the freshmen, mind you.] following me around. Gaaaaah. I need to be ostracised from their group somehow...I'll figure out how later. After I've read the rest of Naruto. X3

Um...that's pretty much my life right now; School and work. Well, home life, too, but who wants to hear me bitch about how I have the urge to stab me mum's eyes out now and then? Well, or me da's; he went on this HUGE rant about how MY MOTHER has a job she doesn't like, how MY MOTHER has to deal with people SHE doesn't like, etc. etc. [i.e., saying EXACTLY HOW MY JOB IS.] because I made one semi-vulgar comment. I HAD CLEANED IT UP MENTALLY SO IT WAS OKAY FOR THE DINNER TABLE, and he told me "She doesn't really need the vulgar remarks." I wanted to stab him at that point. Grrrr. *stabstabstab*

Twisted every way, what answer can I give? Am I to risk my life to win the chance to live? Can I betray the man who once inspired my voice? To I become his prey do I have any choice? He kills without a thought, he murders all that's good, I know I can't refuse and yet I wish I could, oh God if I agree, what horrors wait for me in this, the Phantom's Opera?

Just because I'm too tired to bitch anymore and I'm out of things to say. Plus I wanted to see if I could type as fast as Miss Daae could sing [which I can.] since apparently my typing skills are rather good. Didn't know that. *shrug*

I'm off to read s'more of Anne Rice's Interview With The Vampire and wish for a letter.

Life is like a used box of chocolates.

2005-10-04T00:55:49Z

The shiny wrapper's already off, and most -- if not all -- of the chocolates have already been eaten. So what's the point of opening the box at all, or keeping it open?

Looking for those itty bitty smidgens of crumbs of chocolate you can stick to your thumb and suck off and giggle over and have loads of fun with, even if they're just tiny specks of nothingness.

In other words:

Look for the little things in life, and get as much enjoyment out of them as you can. Why? Because most of the big things have already been done, and seen, and explored. You can't find a new continent or discover the lost society of Aboriginal Africans, or discover a cleaner way of running cars -- it's already been done. But you can hang out with your friends and discuss silly things and laugh a lot and smile so much your cheeks hurt and have a good time, even if you aren't discovering a new continent.

Yes, I need a pickmeup, and since I've already read all the good ones by all the good authors, I'm writing my own. It sucks, but it works for me. So go do as it says! GO HAVE FUN WITH THE LITTLE THINGS.

Sick.

2005-10-01T19:36:23Z

Sick as a dog. Which never made sense to me. Like, I don't know about you, but my dogs don't really get sick all that often. And when they do, they just sort of blow snot bubbles for a day, then're fine. So why am I sick as a dog? It doesn't make sense to me.

I'm on a lot of medication, I think. I took a bunch, anyways. And I'm still working tonight, but I got a check. $161.51 and half of it is going into the baaaaank. Hehe. Why? Because I need to save up for my trip through Japan/Russia/Europe. Y'know, after I graduate. A heh.

Anywho, off to nap before working. Or something. I don't know. How're you?

I love this music.

2005-09-29T01:03:27Z

The movie's really good, too. :D

Anyhoo, today. Um...okay, I suppose. Longish. But I did all my homework! Sort of. And I translated a whole sentence into Latin after school, which is a new feat. w00t. Also went out to dinner with Dawn and Divana, which is always lots of fun. Discussed...well, I haven't a clue. ^^; But I have to write down that I am supposed to discuss Johannes Kepler with Irina when we go walking randomly 'round F-G in the snow. X3

All my homework is done. I'm afraid I have to cancel the pug social on Sunday, though, because I have WAY too much homework. Two projects, who knows how many essays, revisions, a Zinn reading...and I have work every night. Maybe if I work just all day Saturday...hroom...

Anyways, I have to go do some work now. And finish my dA comments, at least. I'll be writing soon! We have Writing Club on Mondays at lunch time, so it's awesome. So that's...three or four extracurricular activites I'm doing. PLUS work. So much! But it's a lot of fun, really. I've never been so busy!

It helps keep me from being depressed, to be honest with you. But that's a GOOD THING. ^________^

Wedgehead may or may not be going to school tomorrow. I'm not entirely sure yet; I have to talk to him. Anyhoo, off to dA and whatnot.

I hope you had the time of your ilfe...

2005-09-27T22:59:10Z

Today was a good day. A very, very good day. I think. I'm not sure.

I can tell you more later. Maybe. hehe. I-- hehehehehehehehe.

Let's just say that, well...Hebrew Club is entirely too much fun. X3 Bahor Nit Almeh! X333

It's a luscious somethingsomething...

2005-09-27T03:17:37Z

I am so incredibly bored and tired and I want to go to bed, but I'm waiting for Alex to finish his layout and all that crap, and I'm waiting for an epiphany which is NOT coming. Why? Well, lemme explain.

IF ANY OF YOU SO MUCH AS WHISPERS ABOUT THIS, I'LL RIP YOUR GENITALIA OUT AND FORCEFEED THEM TO A PIG. I WILL THEN FORCE YOU TO EAT THE FESCES OF SAID PIG.

If I spelled fesces wrong, I don't care. On to what I need to explain.

Okay, this goes back to me liking Sam. Yes, isn't it amazing? I still like Sam. Ohmigoshshutuptaylor. Over and over again I talk about this. Well, bear with me, folks. So I like Sam. So would you, though. Cute and hot (at once, yes), tall, funny, intelligent but not too geeky, likes good music, etc. etc. etc. So I like him. And it's weird, because I know that he's straight, or he says he is, and that's gotten me over a lot of guys (no, none of you know all of them, so don't think that little list you have of probably three or four fingers is all of them -- I mean a lot) before now. But not Sam. So, emotionally torn to shreds over an internal conflict that thinking does nothing for, I turn to an old friend to help me. She gives me a fanfiction called sbp, or shoebox project.

I read it.

This is where it gets bad. See, it's a fluffy Remus x Sirius, or Sirius x Remus, or whatever, I don't care. It's Remus and Sirius when they're in Sixth/Seventh Year, and it's totally fluffy, and the main problem is I AM REMUS. It's terrible. What he does and thinks and feels is JUST like how I've been feeling for YEARS. I mean, sure it's because he's dealing with being a werewolf and I'm dealing with being a homosexual, but if you read the fanfiction you get what I mean. Like...I just fit him. Perfectly. It's scary as FUCK.

So now I have this terrible idea that somehow if I do what Remus does with Sirius, I may get Sam. A heh...no. BUT I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. I go back and forth, over and over, the risks, the benefits, the losses, the possibilities and chances and probabilities...it's terrible. I can't decide. cheeto, the friend who gave me sbp, has told me to "suck it up and just do it." She also says that I need to stop thinking. Well...I'd love to, really. But stop thinking? If you know me, you know I think. Constantly. Like, from the age of four or five, I've been thinking. I may act silly and immature and stupid a lot of the time, but I am constantly judging consequences and probabilities and whatnot. It's why I'm who I am, and I can't change it. *coughcoughremuscough* But now I'm supposed to just turn off my head and...and...well...

So this is my dilemma. I haven't the faintest of clues how to go about doing this, nor am I sure I'm supposed to. So...help? I can't do this alone. I'm strong and wonderful and decisive and all that fun stuff with your lives, I mean how many times have I told y'all what to do, how to handle things? How often do I do my best to make you feel better?

I don't ask for that. I just want your opinion on whether or not I should tell Sam I like him and kiss him. That's it. That's all I want to know -- if you were in my position, if you were being told to turn off the only thing that, as far as you know, is the only thing to have kept you unbeaten through years of VERY violent "best friends" *coughcoughzachleblanccough* and other acquaintances, and to kiss the one friend you really really enjoy at school, even though it is quite possible this could RUIN the entire friendship...would you do it anyways?

This sounds like an essay. I just want one sentence. "If I was in your position, I would..." or something to that effect. A nice "Good luck!" or whatever is muchly appreciated. Thank you, and have a nice day.